My fear of boredom

I’ve probably said this before but my biggest fear is boredom (my second biggest fear is falling but there’s not much I can do about that one). I hate being bored, I’d much rather do something that stimulates my brain than sit around doing nothing. Don’t get me wrong I love doing nothing, I probably do it better than anyone else, but it’s not my first choice of activities.

As of right now I am unemployed and it’s starting to bug me.

I left behind a job that allowed me to spend hours hanging out with some super cool, super fun to be around people and while I now get to actually be with my husband all the time instead of once every three months I still miss that comradery (or comaraderie, however you want to spell it). When told of my distaste for being bored many people have offered the “But you’ll be in Italy! You can travel around! You can see the sights!” line of attempted helpfulness. Those are true statements, I am in Italy, I can travel, and I can very well see the sights but 1. I don’t have the money to be running off to a new country every five minutes and 2. I’ve wandered all over Naples quite a few times and with how quickly stuff [doesn’t] change here it’s easy to run out of things to see. Even wandering around town can get boring, especially when you do it all the time. Unless I have a specific need for something going out to the stores just seems like a pointless venture. I’ve never been one to just randomly go shopping, I usually have something in particular I need to buy. I guess I just really want a job, a place to go everyday where I can use my brain and talk to people.

The main thing that happens when I get bored is I lose motivation. Instead of wanting to get out of the house and do stuff I get more and more into the rut of sitting around doing nothing. Of course then I get more anxious about the fact that I’m doing nothing and thus fall further into it. It’s a really stupid line of reasoning but sometimes I think my brain is kinda stupid. Giving myself the task of writing a blog post every day is proving equally difficult as I don’t really have a constant source of ideas to draw from. Or maybe I’m just really boring.

I am rather looking forward to heading to the Outer Banks of NC next Friday. It’ll be nice to go to the beach and see my family. I’m not super excited about the long plane rides but there’s nothing to be done about that.

Today’s activities so far have included doing laundry, washing dishes, watching Part 3 of Ken Burns’ Civil War, trying to teach myself to french braid my hair (if you have any tips please let me know) and that’s. about. it. I really, really want to attempt to get good at baking but with it just being Greg and I the resulting glut of calories would be a horrible idea.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer but I’m hoping by getting it all out I’ll be able to move past it. Fingers crossed!


14 thoughts on “My fear of boredom

    • I’m working on it, I just need to get to know more people. Most of the women here that don’t work have kids so they tend to congregate together. Things don’t happen overnight but it’s frustrating to not have made any real contacts yet.

  1. Same fear. I once read a horror story about a teleportation experiment that went south. The man involved in the accident was trapped in some sort of limbo with no sensory input, only his own thoughts for, what felt like for him, 10,000 years. To the observers, he popped out instantly and the teleportation was a success. Sadly for him, he was a raving lunatic after being mentally locked up with himself for such a long time.

    • That sounds horrible! I get tired of listening to myself even when I have outside interruption, I can’t even imagine only hearing my own thoughts. I wonder if that’s what coma patients deal with. Ugh.

  2. There has to be an Italian or Mediterranean equivalent of We found during our travels that most popular websites in the states have their international counterparts. If you can find it, that may be a good source of activities and people to interact with.

    • Hmm, I wonder if there is. I’ll have to look around. There’s a local group that does happy hour meetups where they only speak english, I’m thinking of checking one of those out.

  3. French braiding hair is easy with a little practice– keep it tight and you’re golden! My parents gave me the Klutz Book of Hair and Braiding when I was in third grade and I spent a whole summer learning to do ALL OF THE BRAIDS. Problem is, once you learn to do a french braid backwards (on your own head), it’s hard to do them for other people!

    Also, my boyfriend and I are thinking of coming Napoli-way sometime soon. All of his family is in Benevento and he hasn’t been for a while. We just have to save up some vacation time (and money, lol), but we’ll be over soon!

    • I’m thinking I should buy the Klutz Book, they taught me how to make friendship bracelets! The problem is my hair is very slippery so I need to try when it’s wet to see if it works better.

      Let me know when you’ve got your trip figured out!

  4. If all the non-working women have kids, why don’t you try babysitting? It seems like something you could do without a bunch of work visa requirements, it’ll get you out the house, and maybe you’ll meet some nice moms in your age-range to befriend and go grab a coffee with (with or without the kids).

    • My visa allows me to work, it’s more about finding an opening. There are a few possible positions in the child care field that I’ve been considering. I’ll probably send in an application.

  5. Camaraderie. Now go hang out at some historic spot in the sun with a good book, and stop whining. “Oh, I’m trapped in a beautiful country in Summer while young and healthy with my new husband and little or no financial pressure — it’s like being trapped in a teleportation experiment gone wrong!”

  6. I have to assume you’ve already tried to apply for the civilian positions on base. Do we still have a Navy base there? I also agree with some of the others, lots of book reading, writing and photography. Maybe plant a small garden on your balcony. I thought you mentioned going to the exchange there, so do you also have access to the base facilities? There should be a gym, you could start getting into a routine that once you get into, it becomes one of those daily rituals you enjoy and keeps your mind from getting bored. Try cooking, something Italian and complex at least once a week. You’ve only been there a short time, so it takes awhile to get to know people. It’ll happen and so will the job, just keep going….

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